Do you believe that I am able...

I am not sure how to start this one, and know that there are many people I should have told first, but as a journalist, writing has always brought me comfort. I received news this morning that has brought me to my knees. In my prayers today, I kept coming to a verse in Matthew 9:27. Jesus had been healing people and performing miracles all day, but a group of men approached and asked for healing. Jesus turned to them and asked, "Do you believe I am able to do this?" "Yes, Lord!" they replied.

Last Thursday, I had biopsies to learn if the immuno-suppressive therapy I have been taking has given me cancer. My doctor told me that he felt it was just "pre-cancer," but he began to weep. He and I have been through a lot over the years. He delivered both of my sister's babies, brought my angels into this world, and held my hand when we decided at 27 years old that I needed a hysterectomy. He is the only man who hasn't quaked with fear under the assault of my terrified mother's threats. On Thursday, he hugged me and kissed my cheek. He began to walk out the door, but turned around for another hug. "You have always been a little extra special for me," he said with a parental tone. I laughed it off and told him it is because I know his secrets. "You have the gift of blessings," he said. I told him that I agreed because I know how blessed I am and have been in my life. "No, you don't understand," he said. "You have the ability to make people feel blessed, even when you are the one in pain." We both shed a tear and he walked out the door.

That afternoon, I lay in bed, physically and emotionally drained. I received a series of phone calls from my daughter to inform me that her school bus had been in an accident with a plumbing truck and I needed to come get her. I am so blessed that all of the children were okay, that the driver of the truck is okay, and that we have such amazing leaders in her school. A counselor from the school who is a family friend was on the bus within minutes to talk to the children. Her smile gave me such peace.

It was a long and emotional week for me, because I knew in my soul how it would end. I got the news this morning that the biopsies came back as cancer. I will have surgery Tuesday to remove what they see and then test to see if it has spread.

We are keeping this news quiet from our children for now until we have a better understanding, so I ask that you be intentional if you share this news. My husband and I will both celebrate our birthdays in a couple of weeks, and I will continue to count my blessings.

I promised my little boy that I will keep fighting to be healthy, and that is a promise I will keep. I have faith that the Lord will deliver me from my pain in this world or the next. Matt. 9:29 "...According to your faith will it be done to you." And with one touch they were healed.