Still kick'n

Thank you to all of my sweet friends and family who took the time to check in on me when things got a little quiet in the cyber world. There have been ups and downs over the last few weeks, but I am doing quite well...all things considering.

Three weeks ago, I had planned on reducing my work schedule to half days so that I could be rested for the stage down of my steroids. Well, I ended up getting sick, missing a full day, and then having to work longer hours to make up for it...so things didn't go like I had planned. I still staged down to 40 mg of steroids two and half weeks ago. The first couple of days left me very fatigued and all of my nerve endings were screaming at me, but then my body adjusted. I have amazing people around me at work who have had to pick up the slack when I have had to go home early or couldn't get out of bed. They truly are a blessing to me and my family.

This week started the stage down to 30 mg of steroids. This is a huge step for us! I have not been below 40mg without relapse. I have taken off work all week to rest and take it easy while my body adjusts. As with the stage down to 40, I became very sick to my stomach last night and I am fighting fatigue and headaches, but expect to adjust like before. Thank you for all of your prayers. I know that this would not be possible without the Lord's hands.

Speaking of blessings...my sweet friend Randy who knows it has been a dream of mine to attend a Dallas Cowboys game sent John and I to the Atlanta game on Sunday. We met up with friends while there. One of John's suppliers put us up in a hotel and treated the boys to golf on Saturday before taking us all to dinner Saturday night. It was a great weekend! And I must say...anyone who is not a Bradie James fan needs to see a doctor!

Are we really ready?

It is a cool and breezy Friday...compared to what to we are used to around the Hill Country! I just finished having blood work done to rule out lupus and some other pleasant disorders. Just before donating a pint, I was able to visit some amazing friends of mine who are new parents to a precious little miracle baby boy! I watched these two brilliant and well equipped people and still thought..."They have no idea how their lives are going to change!"

That is a resounding theme around me these days though. My life is going to change over the next month, and how it will unfold is a mystery to everyone. I have a bone scan on Monday to reveal the extent of damage that the steroids have caused. I will go next Friday to have more blood drawn to see if I am anemic from the Cell Cept and to find out if I have to add cholesterol meds due to the diabetes. All of this is routine now and I have confidence that we can handle the results from any of those tests. What does have me concerned is that we are preparing to remove the steroids.

The vanity in me is ready to be off the steroids and for my body to adjust to its previous form. While I may only weigh 120 pounds now, I have gained 20 pounds in just the last two months. When you have been little your whole life, you would be surprised how many people think you are unaware that you have gained weight...and point it out! That being said, the risks of coming off the steroids terrify me.

I will work half a day next Wednesday and Thursday, and then take my usual Friday off. I hope that this will give my body the chance to rest. On Monday, the 12th, I will back down to 40mg of prednisone. This is the level that I was at when I relapsed. I was not on the CellCept then, so hopefully this will be less eventful. Then on the 26th, I will try to back down to 30mg. This will be uncharted territory. If we are successful, we will continue to back down the steroids more. If we are not successful...well...I will relapse. With each relapse, I will suffer brain damage and I am at risk for...not good things.

While at Bible study last night, I was reminded of a very popular verse, but one that now has new meaning to me. It is Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

While I know that this verse does not guarantee an earthly future, I hang on the word "hope" and trust that the Lord wants to protect me from harm. Maybe these are thoughts planted by the enemy, but I have been thinking a lot lately about my babies. I have been playing the "what-if" game. What if this does not go well and I am gone, in a coma, or unable to be the parent that my kids need. Have I taught Bradie enough to ensure that she grows into the amazing woman, wife, and mother that she can be? Have I built Logan up to have the confidence to be the Godly man, husband, father, and leader that he is purposed to be? Have I left an example for them to follow that will inspire them?

The real answer is no. That is a job much bigger than me, and I know it is in the Lord's hands. I just pray for peace, and I ask that you pray with me. Pray for my coverage over my family. Pray for strength to follow the path we are given.