Do you believe that I am able...

I am not sure how to start this one, and know that there are many people I should have told first, but as a journalist, writing has always brought me comfort. I received news this morning that has brought me to my knees. In my prayers today, I kept coming to a verse in Matthew 9:27. Jesus had been healing people and performing miracles all day, but a group of men approached and asked for healing. Jesus turned to them and asked, "Do you believe I am able to do this?" "Yes, Lord!" they replied.

Last Thursday, I had biopsies to learn if the immuno-suppressive therapy I have been taking has given me cancer. My doctor told me that he felt it was just "pre-cancer," but he began to weep. He and I have been through a lot over the years. He delivered both of my sister's babies, brought my angels into this world, and held my hand when we decided at 27 years old that I needed a hysterectomy. He is the only man who hasn't quaked with fear under the assault of my terrified mother's threats. On Thursday, he hugged me and kissed my cheek. He began to walk out the door, but turned around for another hug. "You have always been a little extra special for me," he said with a parental tone. I laughed it off and told him it is because I know his secrets. "You have the gift of blessings," he said. I told him that I agreed because I know how blessed I am and have been in my life. "No, you don't understand," he said. "You have the ability to make people feel blessed, even when you are the one in pain." We both shed a tear and he walked out the door.

That afternoon, I lay in bed, physically and emotionally drained. I received a series of phone calls from my daughter to inform me that her school bus had been in an accident with a plumbing truck and I needed to come get her. I am so blessed that all of the children were okay, that the driver of the truck is okay, and that we have such amazing leaders in her school. A counselor from the school who is a family friend was on the bus within minutes to talk to the children. Her smile gave me such peace.

It was a long and emotional week for me, because I knew in my soul how it would end. I got the news this morning that the biopsies came back as cancer. I will have surgery Tuesday to remove what they see and then test to see if it has spread.

We are keeping this news quiet from our children for now until we have a better understanding, so I ask that you be intentional if you share this news. My husband and I will both celebrate our birthdays in a couple of weeks, and I will continue to count my blessings.

I promised my little boy that I will keep fighting to be healthy, and that is a promise I will keep. I have faith that the Lord will deliver me from my pain in this world or the next. Matt. 9:29 "...According to your faith will it be done to you." And with one touch they were healed.

In need of guidance

Okay prayer warriors, I have a favor to ask of you. This time it is not for an urgent situation, rather a request for prayerful advice. I have another tough decision to make.

Let me catch you up on the latest situation. After a month of decline in my health status, my endocrinologist sent my convulsing booty back to the hospital. As usual, there were a laundry list of situations and conversations that I found completely hysterical, but probably would not be appropriate to share with all of my church friends. Come on, y'all know me...I can find humor in just about every situation...and often share my thoughts out loud...when they probably should be filtered. I blame it on the pills and the scrambled brains. Admit it, you wish you had an excuse!

My new Neurologist paid me a visit there, ran lots of tests, put me on new meds, and sent me home. I have to tell you, I feel better than I have in almost two years. From the time I met Dr. Restrepo, he has been a skeptic about my rare diagnoses and was strongly against the usual treatment for the Encephalopathy.

We had a follow up visit yesterday and he was amazed at how well I was doing. In fact, he took one look at me and in his saucy accent asked, "What happened to you? You look amazing!" That is when my husband answered him, "Good drugs!" The very serious doctor spun around and shook his hand at John. "No...no! I am Colombian! We say medication," he corrected. Oh yeah, Doc has a sense of humor! Game on! "That's right...all drugs are good to Colombians," I added. He couldn't help but appreciate my sense of humor. What can I say? I'm FUNNY!

After running the tests and reviewing my file, Dr. Restrepo has conceded to accept Hashimoto's Encephalopathy as my diagnosis. "I'm okay if you want to label it something else," I told him. Again he waived his hand and said, "There's nothing else." He studied about 22 cases of this while he trained at the Mayo Clinic and 20 of the cases were highly progressive. The treatment was always high dose steroids. He said there is not a safe therapeutic dose for me with my history. If it is going to be progressive no matter what, then why expose me to ulcers, infections, diabetes, osteoporosis, bone replacement therapy, and more. We can slow the progression with the immune suppressants and take anti convulsants, thyroid hormone, and B-12 to treat the symptoms. This is a small victory for me! Whoo-hoo!

We had originally planned on switching me to a milder medication at the follow up visit, but now have decided to leave me be. "You are doing too well and I do not want to mess this up by switching anything," I was told. I asked about biopsies that I was suppose to have last week after a test showed abnormal cells. Dr. Restrepo advised me to postpone the procedure since I am highly susceptible to infection and stress or trauma could aggravate my now stable condition. I was soooo okay with this, as the biopsies are done in the office without anesthesia.

Okay warriors, this is where I need some prayerful input...not just medical. When I called my OB's office today to tell her that I would not be rescheduling the biopsy, she put me on hold while she reviewed my test results. She returned to the phone and told me that she strongly advises that I have the biopsies done on an ASAP basis. The type cells found are very concerning, and since the results were misplaced for almost 5 months, she does not feel I should wait any longer. My OB is suppose to call me with his recommendation about the safest way to do this. I am not emotionally ready to have another surgery, put my family through the stress, or take on anymore financial burden. Please pray with me that my doctors and I will make the best decision, and I covet your advice. God bless sweet friends.

Back in the hospital

If you have been following the last couple of weeks, you know that I have had a decline in my health. The tremors and convulsions were coming more often, and my heart began to flutter strong enough that it took my breath away.

I met a new neurologist last week and he was skeptical of my diagnosis and truly against the common treatment for my illness. I was uncomfortable with the way that he just wanted to take a few weeks to review my charts and previous labs, while I felt a progression occurring. I scheduled a follow-up appointment with my endocrinologist to get her feedback on the matter.

Upon walking into her office, she immediately pointed out that there was a significant decline in my condition from our visit just two weeks prior. She was not comfortable allowing my condition to decrease any further, so she admitted me to Stone Oak Methodist. This has to be the quietest hospital I have ever been.

We performed an EEG, EKG, MRI and many labs. Many of the labs will not be back for a couple of weeks. The other tests showed only minor changes. Our new neurologist came in late Monday night and explained that he had been talking with my endocrinologist, rheumotologist, and other neurologist. While he is still not convinced it is Encephalopathy, he has not been able to find any other disease that matches my symptoms. He has decided to treat me for Encephalopathy, but not follow the typical treatment plan.

"Steroids have bleached your bones, began to destroy the bones in your hip, gave you diabetes, and will eventually re-open your stomach ulcers," said Restrepo in an encouraging manner. "I studied at the Mayo and 20 out of 22 cases I saw were progressive. There is not a therapeutic dose of steroids that would work. You will be on very high levels for the rest of your life. You will probably die from the side effects before the disease."

So we have come up with another plan. Instead of treating what we feel is causing the disease, we are going to use less toxic meds to treat the symptoms. This should stop the convulsions and possibly allow me to return to my usual lifestyle, while they continue to look for a cause and cure. I am not driving for a couple of weeks, but we will change meds in a couple of weeks and see if it is possible. That is when we will learn if the symptoms will return.

I also received a phone call from my OB last Friday to tell me that they found abnormal cells and want to do biopsies. However, at this point, we will wait for me to be more stable and my immune system to be stronger.